Of Love and Heartache
by GothycCoalChambr
Summary: [oneshot] InuKai. warning: mentions of cutting and character death. OOC


Disclaimer: No I do not own Prince of Tennis, or the song "Wake me up, When September ends"

A/N: this was a challenge set by my lovely friend Dai, hope you like it!

Warnings: Mentions of cutting, and there is char death, maybe OOC. Lotsa angst too. Enjoy!

_**Of Love and Heartache**_

Kaidoh rid himself of the long sleeved shirt and stared at his arms. He couldn't remember when he started doing this, but he knew why he did it. There was just so much pressure on him. His family wanted him to be the perfect heir, so perfect grades were a given. If they ever found out he was dating one of the guys on his team, who knows what they'd do.

Kaidoh sighed. His team. Thinking about them always brought his thoughts to _him._ Inui Sadaharu, his senpai, his doubles partner and his lover. Things were complicated between them. Well, okay not complicated, more like almost non-existant. They didn't do things like normal couples, in fact they hardly ever did anything together at all. Except training. And sex, but that was beside the point. It was just more stress that he really didn't need. Kaidoh wandered over to his cd player and looked through his cd's. He finally decided on one and put it in the player. Thinking about Inui always put him in one of his moods.

He dug through his backpack to find the blade he carried everywhere. They'd had another fight again. Well, more like Kaidoh yelled at him while Inui just stood there. It was always the same and Kaidoh wondered why he bothered. '_Because you love him', _the voice in the back of his mind replied. Yes, he loved him, that much was true, but was there really a point? Inui obviously didn't love him, that he was sure of.

While he was lost in his thoughts, he drug the blade across his arm. Again and again, trying to rid himself of the pain. It always made him feel better, if only for a little while. Everytime he watched the beautiful red color pour forth from the cuts he felt that maybe everything would be okay.

Kaidoh jerked awake, he wasn't sure what woke him up this time. Then he realized that his cellphone was ringing. He glanced at the ID screen and sighed. _'Inui, great just what I need. It's the same thing everytime.' _ Kaidoh threw down the phone and let it ring. Eventually Inui hung up, but only after leaving a voice mail. Kaidoh finally decided to get up and get ready. It was Sunday, so no practice today. He was thankful for that. He didn't know if he'd be able to play with how sore his arms were. After his shower, he decided to see what Inui had to say. Of course it was the same as last time, but he decided he'd go meet him anyways.

When he got to the park, Inui was already there. Kaidoh just stood there, waiting for the inevitable. Inui stood up to greet him when he caught sight of blood leaking through Kaidoh's shirt.

"Kaidoh, you're bleeding!"

Kaidoh looked down at the aforementioned spot and paled. '_Shit, he wasn't supposed to know'. _Kaidoh turned to run, but Inui grabbed his arm. Kaidoh couldn't supress the wince when Inui clamped his hand down on the fresh wounds.

"What's wrong Kaidoh? Why are you bleeding?" Inui carefully pushed Kaidoh's sleeves up. When he saw his arms, he gasped. Kaidoh's arms were covered in scars, some newer than others, and a bunch of cuts that looked only hours old. When he looked up at him to ask why, he saw how pale Kaidoh was. He had a suspision, but he hoped he was wrong. "Did you do this?" He asked, gesturing at Kaidoh's arms.

Kaidoh looked down, unable to meet his eyes. _'He knows, oh god he knows'. _Kaidoh chanced a glance at Inui's unreadable face. '_What is he thinking? Why won't he say something?' _Kaidoh looked down again, he didn't feel like trying to explain it to him. He knew Inui would never understand. So he did the only thing he could, he left.

Inui stared after Kaidoh, watching him go. _'Why would he do that to himself? What has driven him to that?' _ Inui sighed and turned to walk home. Kaidoh would be fine, he always was. It was the pattern that had developed in their relationship. Anytime something went wrong, Kaidoh took off. It was getting quite annoying actually, but he didn't have the heart to call the other boy on it. He knew Kaidoh was embarrassed easily, so that was the only excuse he could think of for him to run off like that every time. But now he wondered. _'How long has he been doing this? Does he hurt himself everytime we fight?' _But one thought dominated his mind, _'Why didn't i see it sooner? The signs were all there. He always wears long sleeves, and freaks when someone grabs his arm. But now I know, he freaked because he was in pain!' _

Inui sighed as he went to his room. '_Things will work out, they always do, but just I need to talk to someone. Or better yet, ask if anyone's noticed this. Hmmm...' _As Inui lay on his bed, he thought of who he could ask. Then it hit him, there was only one person who knew Kaidoh as well as he did, granted he was Kaidoh's rival, but he knew him well none the less. He grabbed his phone and dailed the number. _'Pick up damnit,' _ he thought to himself. Just then the voice on the other end answered.

"Momoshiro, I need to talk to you right away. Meet me by the river in a half an hour..."

Momoshiro found Inui waiting for him by the river 20 minutes later. "Okay Inui-senpai, what was it you needed to talk to me about?"

"Have you noticed anything...odd...about Kaidoh?"

"Mamushi? Of course he's odd, who hasn't noticed that?" Momo said with a slight laugh.

"I'm being serious Momo, something's wrong with him. We had a fight the other day, you know, so I asked him to meet me in the park so I could apologize. When he got there, I noticed he was bleeding, it was soaking through his shirt..." Inui replied.

"Bleeding?" Momo interrupted.

"Yes, bleeding. Anyways, I asked him about it and he wouldn't answer me, but he turned to leave, so I grabbed his arm. He was in pain, I could see him wince, so I pushed his sleeves up..." Inui trailed off after this. Momo just stood there, not really liking where this was leading. "His arm, it was covered in scars and he had cuts all over them. I think ... I think he's hurting himself."

"Hurting himself?", Momo asked. "You mean like cutting himself?"

"Exactly, he wouldn't tell me anything though, he just left. So I called you. You may be his rival, but you know him almost as well as I do. Please help me, I don't know what's wrong with him, or why he's doing it." Inui grabbed Momo's hand. "If you can tell me anything, it would help. I just need to know how to help him."

Momo was at a loss, '_Mamushi, a cutter? I can't belive it.' _Momo stopped to think, _'He always wears long sleeves, and won't let anyone touch him, and that one day his arm was bandaged.' _ Momo's eyes widened and he looked at Inui. He looked so lost, so Momo did the only thing he could do, he hugged him. "It will be okay Inui-senpai, we'll figure something out." he said, still hugging the older boy.

Inui tenatively put his arms around the younger boy, completely oblivious to the person watching them from the shadows.

Kaidoh couldn't believe it, Inui, his Inui, was with his rival. Not only that, but the two were locked in an embrace. Kaidoh felt tears prick his eyes as he turned to leave. But luck was not on his side, for Inui had seen the younger man there and went after him, after apologizing to Momo.

"Kaidoh! Wait up! Kaoru!"

Kaidoh stopped in his tracks. "Don't call me that." Inui looked surprised, "You have no right to call me that. Is this all I am to you? A fuck toy?" He turned to face his senpai. "Is it? Well answer me!" Inui just stood there and looked at him. "Oh, I get it now, you never were really interested in me, were you? Well that's okay I'll save you the trouble. Don't call me, don't come to my house, don't even speak to me." Kaidoh turned to leave and whispered "And to think I fell in love with you" and started to walk away.

Inui shook himself out of his daze and grabbed Kaidoh. "This isn't about me, this is about you. Why? Why do you do this to yourself? Tell me Kaidoh, what about your life is so bad that you have to do this?" Inui held up Kaidoh's arm, feeling his anger rise. "What could possibly be so bad that you would have to...to mutilate yourself? Answer me!"

Kaidoh just stood there staring at the ground, and Inui could have sworn he saw red. He grabbed the younger boy by his arms and shook him almost violently. Still Kaidoh said nothing, and that was the last straw. A sharp smack was the only sound heard for what seemed like hours. Kaidoh, in a state of shock, reached a shaking hand up to his throbing cheek. _'He...hit...me...' _ Kaidon felt the tears well up and looked away. _"I will not let him see me cry...' _

Inui just stared, he couldn't believe what he had done. He had hit Kaidoh, the man he loved more than anything in this world. He reached up a hand to brush the hair away from Kaidoh's face, to apologize, when the other boy flinched. Inui felt his heart breaking, _'He's afraid of me...perhaps i should just let him go...'. _Inui turned his back to him and said in a low voice "Maybe it is better this way," and walked away. Kaidoh tunred and fled the scene, vowing to never return.

With his eyes scanning the sky, a tear fell down his cheek. He felt angry at himself for screaming at the man he loved, but also angry at the way he had reacted. Kaidoh always ran away from him always whenever there was a problem, yet he always came back within a few days. Not this time, it had already been a month since he left, and now guilt ridden thoughts flickered across his mind as he looked at the white sky above him.

"Why...was I so... cold...", Inui shook his head free of his thoughts, he had to find Kaidoh, he had to find his love before something bad happened to him. Filled with his feelings of sadness and loneliness, he stared at the sky once more, before he started to run. No destination in mind, he decided to just run.

Seems like the world was against him, for he wound up in front of Kaidoh's home. The boy hadn't even told his parents where he was going. Inui had been helping them search for him, even Momo helped, but nothing had turned up. Inui sighed and continued on his way. When he got near the river he stopped, someone was down there singing. Inui strained his ears to hear and he quietly walked down the slope. He paused half way down, finally he could make out the words.

**"Here comes the rain again,**

**Falling from the stars,**

**Drenched in my pain again,**

**Becoming who we are."**

Inui could hear the pain in that voice, it echoed the pain in his own heart.

**"As my memory rests,**

**But never forgets what I lost,**

**Wake me up when September ends."**

He found himself stuck, unable to move, that voice sounded so familiar.

**"Summer has come and passed,**

**The innocent can never last,**

**Wake me up when September ends."**

Inui started down the slope once again, hoping that it was who he thought it was.

**"Like my fathers come to pass,**

**Twenty years has gone so fast,**

**Wake me up when September ends**

**Wake me up when September ends."**

The voice sighed, a truly heartbreaking sound. "Why?", the voice asked. "Why doesn't he love me?"

Inui knew now that it was in fact Kaidoh, he'd know that voice anywhere. He ran across the open ground, hoping to see Kaidoh once again. "Kaidoh!" he yelled. The person turned to look at him and Inui felt his breathe catch. "Kaidoh..." he breathed. The boy was a mess. Upon closer inspection, he saw blood, and lots of it. He imediately ran to his side. "Kaidoh, I'm here now, please don't leave me, not after I found you again." he pleaded.

Kaidoh just smiled, the first true smile Inui had seen on the boy in a long time. "It's okay Sadaharu," he whispered quietly, "I'll be okay. There's no more pain..."

Inui hugged the boy tightly, tears streaming down his face. "Just hold on, I'll get help..." he trailed off as he looked at the boy.

Kaidoh shook his head sadly, "It's to late for that," he paused, staring at Inui. "Why are you so upset? I don't feel any pain."

Inui smiled sadly, "Kaidoh...Kaoru, there's something I should have told you a long time ago. I love you. I was just scared, scared of everyone's reaction. Most of all, I was scared you didn't feel the same. Please Kaoru, don't go where I can't."

Kaidoh smiled again, "And I love you Sadaharu, but I have to go. Take care of yourself..." And with that Kaidoh Kaoru faded into the blackness he craved.

Inui stood facing the stone, he just couldn't believe it. His love, his Kaoru was dead. It had been almost a month since that night, but Inui couldn't move on, he couldn't take care of himself, not without him. He traced the name on the tombstone almost lovingly, and smiled. He had made his choice and there was no turning back. He began singing the same song that Kaidoh had been singing that night.

**"Here comes the rain again,**

**Falling from the stars,**

**Drenched in my pain again,**

**Becoming who we are."**

He shakily placed the gun against his temple.

**"As my memory rests,**

**But never forgets what I lost,**

**Wake me up when September ends."**

_'I told you not to go where I couldn't follow you.'_

**"Summer has come and passed,**

**The innocent can never last,**

**Wake me up when September ends."**

'_Wait for me, Kaoru, i'm coming...' _

**"Like my fathers come to pass,**

**Twenty years has gone so fast,**

**Wake me up when September ends**

**Wake me up when September ends."**

And with that thought in mind, Inui Sadaharu pulled the trigger.

A/N2: Like it, Hate it? Let me know!


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